Learn about your connection with the past.
My horoscope for the day.
Yesterday was the past. Two years before was the past. This night, tomorrow, will be the past.
I have a strange relationship with my past. It is more like a marriage- where you put up with your spouse because you know that under that quirky, annoying behavior there is that person you married. When the sun will come out tomorrow, this same person becomes that guy you fell in love with.
The thing is- marriage is questionable these days.
It is almost over three years that I have left behind the past of what all had been. It is nights like these when I don't find anything to write that I dig up the backyard and search for the remnants of a parallel life.
When I was eighteen, I was swept with a wave of energy- the freedom of knowing that I could tame this world, that everything I could ever do, I could do right now.
At 23, I feel I am still too naive. I don't know and probably never will what they mean when they say, you always know when to choose right.
Things, if they turn out well, that means, we have chosen right. At least, that is what I have learnt. Because, no matter how hard you try to make sense of the mistakes that have happened to you, they always escape logic.
Those explanations are like God. One day, you trust in them. The other day, you hate them with the intense vigor that you never knew was present in you.
I am not hateful of my past. Those are still the very days I reminisce with fond memories. Of course, that comes with leaving out the bad parts.
The one thing, you will always be thankful of, is knowing that no matter how dark the night was back then, you could see the sun rise today. It is only complimentary- losing something for gaining something. Better or worse, you could only know later.
I struggle at times, containing myself within the threshold of my present, my future because those days, my past is overbearing and powerful.
Those are the exact days when the hurt and the pain surrounds and takes me down. But, then there are days when you want to say, "F*** the past."
Those are the days when you know you have taken another step towards freedom, towards happiness.
My connection with my past is to propel myself forward.
It is to make myself a better person.
After all, it is not what your past makes of you, it is what you make of your past.